would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
