i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
