shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
