There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
