Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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