good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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