I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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