somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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