My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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