the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
