'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
