This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
