The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize