he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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