Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
