you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
