I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
