adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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