I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize