im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
