U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this boner is exhausting
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
