Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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