D3 body, D1 cock
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
