Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Help. Why am I so naked?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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