Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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