we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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