Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize