Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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