i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent