Ambien. No doubt about it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.