dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ambien. No doubt about it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella