I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.