Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you