I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
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i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.