3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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