how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you