im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby