There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
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i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song