my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
