Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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