I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
