She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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