She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
