I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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