I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
