There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
