5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
