i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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