I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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