Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
