Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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