she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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