Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
