You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
