Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
