I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
