how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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