Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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