why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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