peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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