i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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