OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
