dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
