Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
