I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
