No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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