I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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