best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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