Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize