I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
