i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
