Where is the hickey?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize