Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
