piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
